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PostPosted: Fri Sep 26, 2003 11:40 pm 
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The original version of the poem by Sahir Ludhianvi

Not quite the typical ‘progressive’ or ‘interlaced’ discussion, but is anyone competent to translate this poem?

Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai
Ke zindagi teri zulfon ki naram chhaon mein
Guzarne paati to shadaab ho bhi sakti thi
Yeh teergi jo meri zeest ka muqaddar hai
Teri nazar ki shu'aon mein kho bhi sakti thi

Ajab na tha ke main begana-e-alam ho kar
Tere jamal ki re'naiyon mein kho rahta
Tera gudaaz badan teri neem-baaz aankhen
Inhi haseen fasano mein maho rahta

Pukarti mujhe jab talkhiyan zamane ki
Tere labon se halawat ke ghoont pee leta
Hayat cheekti phirti barhena sar aur main
Ghaneri zulfon ke saaye mein chhup ke jee leta

Magar yeh ho na saka aur ab yeh aalam hai
Ke too nahin tera gham teri justuju bhi nahin
Guzar rahi kuch is tarah zindagi jaise
Ise kisike sahare ki arzoo bhi nahin

Zamane bhar ke dhukhon ko laga chuka hoon gale
Guzar raha hoon kuch anjaani rahguzaron se
Muhib saaye meri simt bharte aata hai
Hayat-o-maut ke pur haul khar zaron se

Na koi jadah na manzil na roshni ka suraag
Bhatak rahi hai khyalon mein zindagi meri
Inhi khyalon mein rah jaoonga kabhi kho kar
Main janta hoon meri humnafas magar yunhi
Kabhi kabhie mere dil mein khayal aata




Edited By armaan on 1064795582


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 27, 2003 10:49 am 
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why don't u just watch the film on dvd with english subtitles / translation

:bash: :bash: :bash:




Edited By asif on 1064659819


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 27, 2003 12:33 pm 
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Asif

Kabhi kabhie mere dil men khayal aata hai, as recited by Amitabh Bachchan in Kabhi Kabhie, is a filmi version of the original poetry written in high flown Urdu for 'mushairas'.

Hence, most people are unfamiliar with this poetry - it's not meant for the masses - only those with a strong attraction to the Urdu language can appreciate it...

In any case I understand most of it. I was just wondering if people on this forum could understand or appreciate it?

:)

Armaan




Edited By armaan on 1064849917


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 27, 2003 2:04 pm 
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I was only 3 years old when Kabhi Kabhie was released in 1976. Appreciation of urdu poetry or classic movies is a matter of taste not age (to some extent).



Edited By armaan on 1064675742


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 27, 2003 6:05 pm 
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Armaan, try searching for this in the Google USENET archives for rec.music.indian.misc. They discuss a lot of Urdu poetry there. I'm sure this has popped up on that newsgroup.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 28, 2003 8:03 pm 
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Translation of Difficult Extracts

Alam : Pain / Grief
Arzoo : Desire
Barhena : Uncovered
Ghaneri : Thick
Gudaaz : Well-Mixed?
Halawat : Relish
Haul : Terror / Fear
Hayat : Life / Existence
Humnafas : Companion
Jadah : Small / Narrow ...?
Jamal : Beauty
Justuju : Search
Khar : Thorn
Khyalon : Emptyness
Maho : Absorbed
Muhib : Dreadful
Neem-baaz : Half Player
Pur : Full / Complete
Rahguzaron : Passage
Re'naiyon : Grace / Elegance
Shadaab : Delightful
Shu'aon : Rays / Beams
Simt : Direction
Suraag : Trace
Talkhiyan : Bitterness
Teergi : Darkness
Zaron : Mourning / Wish
Zeest : Life




Edited By armaan on 1064788993


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2003 4:31 pm 
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Posts: 886
armaan wrote:
The original version of the poem by Sahir Ludhianvi

Not quite the typical ‘progressive’ or ‘interlaced’ discussion, but is anyone competent to translate this poem?

Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai
Ke zindagi teri zulfon ki naram chhaon mein
Guzarne paati to shadaab ho bhi sakti thi
Yeh teergi jo meri zeest ka muqaddar hai
Teri nazar ki shu'aon mein kho bhi sakti thi

Ajab na tha ke main begana-e-alam ho kar
Tere jamal ki re'naiyon mein kho rahta
Tera gudaaz badan teri neem-baaz aankhen
Inhi haseen fasano mein maho rahta

Pukarti mujhe jab talkhiyan zamane ki
Tere labon se halawat ke ghoont pee leta
Hayat cheekti phirti barhena sar aur main
Ghaneri zulfon ke saaye mein chhup ke jee leta

Magar yeh ho na saka aur ab yeh aalam hai
Ke too nahin tera gham teri justuju bhi nahin
Guzar rahi kuch is tarah zindagi jaise
Ise kisike sahare ki arzoo bhi nahin

Zamane bhar ke dhukhon ko laga chuka hoon gale
Guzar raha hoon kuch anjaani rahguzaron se
Muhib saaye meri simt bharte aata hai
Hayat-o-maut ke pur haul khar zaron se

Na koi jadah na manzil na roshni ka suraag
Bhatak rahi hai khyalon mein zindagi meri
Inhi khyalon mein rah jaoonga kabhi kho kar
Main janta hoon meri humnafas magar yunhi
Kabhi kabhie mere dil mein khayal aata

Ok, here's an attempt at picking the gauntlet :

Please note however, I am NO expert at Urdu. I have relied heavily on the translations provided......hence errors and omissions are to be expected......

Once in every while, a thought ambles over,
Had life under your shadowed tresses,
Been allowed to pass, would it not have been delightful,
The darkness that envelops my very being as prophesied,
Could perhaps have melted in the heat of your blazing gaze.

It would'nt have been strange, that a grief-struck me,
Would have been immersed in the glow of your beauty,
Your playful eyes, your proportioned body,
Absorbed and fascinated by details, would I have been.

And whenever life's bitter truths came a calling,
I would drink from your lips the very drops of relish,
And as ugly realities of life uncovered its head,
Lead a quiet existence under the gentle shadow of your tresses.

Alas none of that happened, such is my woe,
I have'nt you, your grief, nor the search for you,
Hours, minutes and seconds go by as though,
They have not even the thought of need for company.

It seems I have embraced the sorrows of a generation,
I traverse through unknown pathways,
Dreadful shadows seem to emerge from every direction,
Bringing the message of death, thorn laden.

There seems no hope of destination or light,
My life seems to wander in arbitrary thoughts,
It appears I might one day be lost in this maze,
I realise my companion these thoughts are futile,
Once in every while, a thought ambles over.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2003 11:09 pm 
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Location: London UK
:D Wah-Wah Wah-Wah :D

Thanks for the translation, Aarkayne. It is beautiful, seems like a lot of effort went into it... I wasn't really expecting anyone to bother, it was just my devious attempt to shift attention from technical aspects of dvd production to more creative aspects of bollywood cinema.

Here is my translation of the filmi version, as recited by Amitabh Bachchan:

Sometimes the thought comes to my heart
Had life passed in the shadow of your tresses
It would have been delightful
The sorrows that burden my heart today
Would have forever found solace in your eyes

Alas, that was not meant to be, and now
Without you... your grief... your search...
Life is passing by hopelessly
No more it desires or yearns for anything

No path, no destination, not even a trace of light
My life is wandering aimlessly in darkness
In this darkness, I will lose myself forever
For this is my destiny, my love, but still
Sometimes the thought comes to my heart ...

And the Amitabh Bachchan version in urdu from which the above is translated:

Kabhi kabhie mere dil mein khayal aata hai
Ke zindagi teri zulfon ki naram chhaon mein
Guzarne paati to shadaab ho bhi sakti thi
Yeh ranj-o-gham ki siyahi jo dil pe chhayi hai
Teri nazar ki shu’aon mein kho bhi sakti thi

Magar yeh ho na saka aur ab yeh aalam hai
Ke too nahin tera gham teri justuju bhi nahin
Guzar rahi kuch is tarah zindagi jaise
Ise kisise ke sahare ki arzoo bhi nahin

Na koi raah na manzil na roshini ka suraag
Bhatak rahi andheron mein zindagi meri
Inhi andheron mein rah jayoonga kabhi kho kar
Main janta hoon meri humnafas magar yunhi
Kabhi kabhie mere dil mein khayal aata hai ...

Bold extracts represents changes to the original poem




Edited By armaan on 1064967866


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 01, 2003 11:07 am 
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Posts: 886
to Armaan - Thanks for your kind comments. Amazingly it took just about an hour of my time. I guess the quality of the original was so inspiring, it almost translated itself. Thanks in no small measure to your 'shabd-kosh'. I am glad you liked it. And needless to say, I liked your version too. Keep writing.

to Monizam - You are very kind and generous in your praise. Thankyou. All credit goes to the essence of the original by Sahir-saab. I beg to say that I do not have the same baritone as the great B, and wouldn't it have been wonderful if he could have narrated it ? Ah, if wishes were horses......


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 04, 2003 7:42 pm 
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Posts: 114
thanksss for the translations... :D some words were hard to understand.

Sahir Ludhianvi wrote some great lyrics and poetry

my aunt writes amazing urdu poetry..really beautiful.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2003 10:23 pm 
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Posts: 24
Just fantastic Aarkayne.

I think there should be more of these on this forum.

My Hindi/Urdu is not that good at all, but I do appreciate the translation by Aarkayne.

I have always liked the song which goes some thing like this:

Jab Koi Baat Bigad Jaaye
Jab Koi Mushkil Pad Jaye
Tum Dena Saath Mera Oh Hamnavaaz
Na Koi Hai Na Koi Tha
Zindagi Mein Tumhare Siva
Tum Dena Saath Mera Oh Hamnavaaz

Ho Chandni Jab Tak Raat
Deta Hai Har Koi Saath
Tum Magar Andheron Mein
Na Chhodhna Mera Haath
Jab Koi Baat...

Dil Ko Mere Hua Yakeen
Hum Pehle Bhi Mile Kahin
Silsila Yeh Sadiyon Ka
Koi Aaj Ki Baat Nahin
Jab Koi Baat...

Wafadari Ki Woh Rasmein
Nibhaenge Hum Tum Kasmein
Ek Bhi Saans Zindagi Ki
Jab Tak Ho Apne Bas Mein
Jab Koi Baat...

The film is Jurm. I think that is the whole song.

If someone can translate that in english I would appreciate.

:) :;): :D


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2003 10:43 pm 
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Posts: 1074
Location: London UK
With all my respect to Aarkayne and his beautiful script, I have to say that NO english translation can even start to do justice to the original poem by Sahir in urdu. It is unfortunate that we are unable to appreciate urdu language of this magnitude. I am planning to post more poetry of Sahir and Gulzar in the coming weeks. I hope Aarkayne continues translating for us ...
:)


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2003 11:26 pm 
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Posts: 886
Manu - Thanks much. I shall attempt.

Armaan - I agree with you totally. It would be foolish on my part to even begin thinking that a translation can come any close to the original. The thought that goes into an original composition cannot be belittled by saying that a translation attempts to replicate it. But for those of us that cannot savour the originals in their native expression, translations will have to do, I guess..... :)


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